


For Now

by unsernameinuse



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 22:58:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1665617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsernameinuse/pseuds/unsernameinuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This new world could fall apart at any second. Soldiers fall and walkers rise and the tide could turn any second. But for now, we have this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Now

**Author's Note:**

> Because my friends and I swore to only watch it together, I still haven't seen season four. So this is set previous to that.

Daryl would do anything Rick asked him to do, within reason, probably. Rick’s never given him an order he wouldn’t willingly carry out and that’s part of a sort of trust between them. Daryl trusts Rick to make the right decision, Rick trusts Daryl to believe and listen. There have been a few close calls, but they’ve never let each other down.

Daryl didn’t realize how deep his loyalties went, though, until the first time Rick pulled him aside from the group and into one of the outside rooms still protected by gate and wire.There was something behind the blue of his eyes, something besides the grief, the pressure, the unsteadiness that has been there lately.

He said “I need you.” and then he pulled Daryl to him. Daryl let himself be pulled. They were both still dirty like they always were, there wasn’t any romantic music. Lori was dead, Carl was twenty feet away, Merle would lose it if he found out...but Daryl found that he liked this. The feeling of having Rick Grimes, apocalypse superhero, handsome cowboy, hero extraordinaire, pressed up against a brick wall and panting for breath. The way his sharp blue eyes would go hazy, his long calloused fingers slipping into Daryl’s jeans. Maybe Rick had meant to be in charge when he started all of this, but he sure as Hell wasn't now.

Daryl’s past self would have probably had a heart attack to see him like this, undone even though he was the one on top, struggling to stay silent when that was usually what came naturally, and minimum to no brain power reserved for being on the lookout for walkers, enemies, nosy friends. Every other part of him was focused on what was happened  _right now._ When it began to happen more often, catching Rick's eye and cocking his head toward some abandoned corner, he started to focus on other things. He timed how long he could keep that haunted look out of Rick’s eyes. Let himself fucking _drown_ in the lazy kisses when they were finished, the scrape of denim against denim when they couldn't stay off of each other even after they had gotten dressed. For as many minutes as they dared take, nothing else existed.

They slipped back in as though nothing had happened, Rick striding over to pick up his baby girl and hold her, chatting quietly with Herschel. Daryl leaned up against the wall and crafted more arrows, pretending he didn't have more questions than answers. He wondered if anyone knew but pretended not to. Michonne looked at him sideways but she always did that. Merle didn’t seem to notice he’d been gone but he knew that was an act, Merle always kept tabs on his location. Carol didn’t seem to notice and she knew him best out of all of them. Besides, if she knew he was screwing around with the leader she would have confronted him about it. Reminded him that Rick just lost his wife and they were all in danger and now wasn’t he time. The thing was, he knew that.

He also knew what Rick’s eyes looked like at peace in those few moments after a really good orgasm where he'd relax in the afterglow and everything else be damned. Sometimes, Rick even smiled the way he used to. He knew what Rick’s lips felt like on his neck, which was something he’d never really thought about before but he now found his mind wandering to. He also thought a lot about the way Rick tasted, which he was pretty sure wasn’t actually supposed to be pleasant.

Rick couldn’t be in charge of everything all the time, it was killing him. But he couldn’t let go either, he’d have way too much time to think and see visions. So letting Daryl take the lead in the bedroom- a manner of speech that more realistically meant the guard tower, the empty field, the solitary cell, the back of a truck- was like a mini vacation for him every other week. They couldn’t do much though, with all the imminent dangers around. If they didn’t have to hide from the group that would have made it easier but they did. That meant most of their fooling around was restricted to over-the-clothes, hands-dipped-in-jeans stuff. They got off with groping, tongues, kisses, touches, and hand jobs if there was time. Daryl spent a lot of time when he was supposed to be asleep fantasizing about what he would do if he could get Rick alone in the jail for a good hour. He didn’t ever think about what they could have done on the farm or in the camp with tents because he didn’t like getting _too_ unrealistic. He wanted to blow Rick though, wasn't sure why, he just did. He wanted to bend Rick over something and just let go, have _Rick_ let go, be as loud as they wanted to. He just...wanted.

“Hey Daryl,” Glenn said somewhere to his right. “you think that arrow’s sharp enough?” Daryl didn’t bother answering, just grunted and added the thoroughly sharpened arrow to the pile. He felt Rick’s sharp gaze on him for moment, across the room, but it was gone before he could react. He sighed to himself and focused on the dilemma of how to make his arrows last longer.

***

Maybe it was wrong to want Daryl the way he did. It didn’t feel wrong but then again, his judgement had been wrong before. Daryl’s hadn’t though, not really. If it was wrong Daryl would stop it, Rick was sure. So he let himself enjoy what they had, whatever it was, and ignored the way he felt when Daryl held Judith or saved his life again or understood Carl. Daryl was a perfect example of still waters running deep. He had gorgeous eyes and a dirty mouth. He was loyal to his bones. Anytime Rick’s mind lingered on those qualities too long though, he reminded himself that he had been lost at sea when Daryl started his one-man rescue mission and it probably wasn’t wise to fall in love with the captain of the lifeboat. After all, he had the power to throw your ass overboard.

**

So they both kept their thoughts, their feelings, to themselves. Anything else wasn’t thinkable. Not with babies crying and walkers feasting and people trying to survive. The only moments they had were silent and breathless. They’d never have what the truly wanted, so they took what they could get.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment/review!


End file.
